I too did my turn in that joint, but only for a few months. My penance was being stuck in the Salad Bar. I really wished that at least they could have put me in the Deli or Bakery.

Our store, the SE 14th location in DSM, was a new facility. Let’s pretend for a moment that I could say for certain that it had 40 aisles. We used to make subtle calls to a Mr. Fergussen to various locations around the facility that didn’t exist.

“Todd Fergussen for customer assistance in aisle 71 please.”

“Todd Fergussen to Sporting Goods please.”

“Todd Fergussen please report to Basement B”

“Steve Martin to the heliport”

“Nancy Drew, pickup outside at the Bat mobile.”

Except for those moments, I hated Hy-Vee, but it was a job that gave me at least $4.90/hr.

When the golden opportunity arose, I then stepped over to take a more prestigious one for $4.85/hr at a music shop.

Oh, to be a kid again.